Happy birthday MEAGAN!

Alam kong mahal mo ako maski hindi mo sinasabi, maski ayaw mo magpakiss, maski ayaw mo magpahug. Mahal din naman kita, sister dear. Maraming salamat sa pagsundo mo sa akin sa Gumbo. Simula nung araw na iyon, lubos na nadama kong nag-aalala ka pala sa akin. Salamat sa pang-iinis, sa pagpapatawa, at sa pagpapaload mo sa akin palagi. Maraming salamat sa pakikinig mo sa akin. Maraming sa pagdamay mo sa akin. Maraming salamat sa mga food trip na libre mo. Maraming salamat sa panlilibre mo sa akin kapag malungkot ako. Maraming salamat sa lahat ng tulong mo sa akin. Maraming salamat sa pagpapahiram mo sa akin ng mga gamit mo. Maraming salamat sa mga bonding. Salamat sa pagmamahal na hindi mo maamin. LOL. Hindi ko man nasasabi, pero sobrang naeenjoy kitang kasama, lalo na ngayon. Haha.

Sana maging mas masaya tayo bilang magkapatid. Sana mas tumatag tayong dalawa kahit tumanda na tayo. Sana hindi lang ako yung open sa iyo. Sana matutuhan mo rin na maging open sa akin about your life. Maaasahan mo naman ako. Hayun. Salamat sa lahat, kapatid. I lab you!

Magkamukha naman pala tayo eh. Mwah ♥

Hoping, waiting, believing.

★Happidezz

Happy birthday MAMA!

No pictures for you, mama. Just pure gratitude that you are my mother and love. I wouldn't be this person without you. Thank you for everything. For crying with me during my lowest moment. For the words of encouragement. For understanding my crazy mind. For waking me up in the morning so that I won't be late for work. For cooking great viands for the family. For enduring our laziness at home. For tolerating our nastiness towards you. For patiently looking after us even if we no longer need to be looked after. For pampering us with your motherly love. For praying for us and our endeavors. For always wishing me good luck with my tasks. For supporting me with what I want in life. For being a good model to me. For everything.

Someday, I'll be a great wife and mother like you. But before that happens, I could only imagine enrolling to tons of cooking lessons. I love you mama. I love you so much. I hope God gives you and Daddy long lives so that you'd see how wonderful my family and my kids would be in the future. I'll try my best to raise them the way you did to us. HUGS!

Hoping, waiting, believing.

★Happidezz

Happy Birthday DADDY! :)

♥ from your four-eyed monsters. este, DAUGHTERS! :)

Mama's at home, thinking of you too.

We miss you. We love you.

HUGS!

Thanks for not giving up on us, for working hard for us, for encouraging me to continue my post-grad studies, for your support in every aspect of my life, for being the only guy we can trust in our lives, for showing us how a bonded family makes life easier, for teaching us to be strong individuals, for raising us to become the persons we are today, for sending us to reputable schools, for dreaming for us and with us, for crying with us through our pains, for being proud of our simple achievements, for being a responsible father, for being a good provider, for being our pillar of strength, for leading us to the right direction, for everything.

I'm going to marry someone like you someday. I love you Daddy. We love you, more than you'll ever know ♥♥♥

Hoping, waiting, believing.

★Happidezz

Tell Tale Signs that You Are OLD

I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but yes, you are getting old too. And whether we like it or not, all of us are a year closer to our respective finish lines. I'm not being morbid, just saying!

 

Katie Holmes, some 30-40 years from now.

This entry reminds me of the part in New Moon where Bella tells Edward that her aging is not something they should celebrate. I am 22 and why am I talking about this depressing topic called "aging" again?

I've been recently realizing that I'm no longer a kid. And though I still do skip while walking, talk like a kid, reason like a toddler, watch cartoons, and cling to my dear loved ones like a baby, the fact remains: I'm not getting any younger. Here are a few signs:

One

I'm now unlearning the "wannabe pose" aka "Japan-Japan pose" because I think it's not fit for old people. [For the lack of a better term, let's just call it "wannabe pose" to serve the purpose of this entry.] I get humiliated every time I catch myself in this pose. I realized, it's awkward for a damulag like me to pose that way. Why did I ever learn to pose that way, anyway, highway? But yes. If I want my colleagues and future kids to respect me, I should really unlearn that pose--the sooner, the better. If you're 22-ish or older, I think you should unlearn it too because we're no longer in high school / college. I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but this pose equals childishness and "pacuteness." Dez at 22 is NOT cute. She's mature and gorgeous. Ha!

Two

My friends and I no longer discuss petty things during meet-ups. Now, we're talking about our dream weddings. I now like the idea of people close to me getting married and settling down. For some reason, kinikilig ako para sa kanila. I feel happy for them because, finally, they have found their right match.

Just a few days back, my officemate and I fondly planned her dream wedding. She wanted a "forest wedding" on a rainy day. She thought light rain would make the event even more romantic. Of course the dresses of the entourage would have to be rain-proof and that's one challenging part. She has to find a designer who can work on the dresses and pay that designer a humongous amount. The most challenging part, though, would have to be finding the safest and the nearest forest for the wedding.

I'm looking forward to attending a wedding. It's good to witness two people prove the world that their love is worth God's blessing. Most especially, I'm looking forward to my own wedding. I'm sure it's going to be perfect. Cheesy! ♥

Three

Some [if not most] of my batch mates already have a family, no thanks to premarital sex. Haha! Though they started their families at a very young age, of course, their new dispositions in life have to be like that of mature moms and dads.

One time, I decided to check out my ex's family. I found it weird browsing through the pictures of his children. And though it may sound awkward, I'm really happy for him. He already has the "joys" of his life and I thought he played his part as a father well.

I'm imagining how my children would look like. I'm confident about my genes; I used to be really adorable when I was a baby. My hubby's genes, though, uuhhmm... [Haha. Peace, handsome! That was a joke.]

Four

Money matters stress me. When I was younger, only my mom dealt with problems regarding money. She wouldn't be able to sleep, thinking how she'll budget dad's meager padala. I used to dislike my mom for not buying me the things I want, but I understand her now.

Like my mom, I now worry about our bills and expenses because it is actually my responsibility to provide for the family especially since Daddy can no longer send us money regularly. It's really tough to be a grown up. Ah! The responsibilities.

Five

When I was kid, the future seemed to be a really, really long way ahead. Now that I'm a grown-up, it's like a few days ahead and a couple of steps forward na lang. The days pass by so fast. The next thing I know, I already have gained a lot of weight and grown gray hair.

I could go on counting the signs that I'm getting old. But since I have limited vocabulary and my writing is only up to this level, let me end this entry by saying: It's funny how we all wanted to grow up fast when we were little. It's quite cruel for life to make us grow fast during times when we least want another wrinkle. Now that we've got what we wanted, we wish to turn back time and return to just being kids again--when the only thing we worried about is our choice of candy flavor. A cliche, right?

 live.love.learn.LOL

Happid3zz★

Father's Day 2007

Happy Father's Day sa ating mga ama! I'm sure most of you had the chance to hug your dad today. As for me, I only got to talk to him--on the phone. Unfortunately, no hugs for me; just his voice and his chuckles.

My dad left when I was in grade four. If I were to use some Mathematics, my dad has been away for ten years now. He wasn't able to witness a lot of important events in our lives: elementary graduation, high school graduation, and most probably, college graduation. Things like these really make me sad. But for daddy, he has a lot more reasons to feel alone.

I'd like this entry to be some kind of a "tribute" to my dad. I'd do this by enumerating all the things I remember about him.

• After phone calls, he'd ask us to kiss him. Kami naman, may TSUP at MWAH sound effects palagi. Well, those things make daddy happy, why deprive him of them dba?
• He has this mannerism wherein he distorts his face and pouts.
• He always tells me that when my sister and I were little, he used to sip our sipon because we didn't know how to blow off mucus back then.
• With his scooter, he used to bring me to school. Now, I think that scooter doesn't work at all but I enjoyed driving it before.
• He used to pat our butts so we'd go to sleep right away. He calls that act "pikpek". So everytime we can't sleep, we'd tell him, "daddy, pikpik mo ako." Now it makes me wonder, is "pikpik" a tagalog term?
• Waking up after siesta time was fun because daddy used to surprise us with merienda.
• In Iloilo, he used to fetch my sister and i with his bike. And then, he'd treat us to the ice cream parlor near our school.
• Since he was a seaman, he would tease us that he has another wife somewhere. I get too affected with the joke that I cry hard. Then, he'd approach me and tell me it wasn't true. The best thing was the hug he used to give me right after wiping away my tears.
• One time, he gave me and my sister a five-peso bill. That was all he had in his wallet and since my sister and I were kids, we tore the bill in two. Share kasi kami eh, bakit ba? Unfortunately, our money was not accepted in the sari-sari store.
• He is an avid fan of PBA. He watched games live in Araneta. My mom used to irritate him by siding with Sunkist. Dad's a fan of Alaska back then.
• He would spank us when we don't obey his orders. At times, we thought he was scary because of his disciplining. But over-all, daddy is really kind and sweet. He loves us so much.
• He used to teach us how to swim. Since he was good in it, he would impress us by saying, "oh, ito, one hand lang oh!" Then, he'd swim awkwardly using one hand only.
• When he was a still a seaman, he'd bring home loads of chocolates for me and my sister. Sa sobrang dami, kahit naglalaro lang kami sa kalye, may bitbit pa kaming Cadburry bar.
• Everytime he leaves for work, my sister and I would cry out loud and beg him not to leave.
• He also loves pictures! When we were young, we had a lot of pictures with him in Iloilo.
• Daddy is also a good cook, just like mama.
• He taught me how to ride a bike.
• We watched Free Willy [the movie with a captured whale] with Daddy. Also Pocahontas and Mulan [?].
• He always brings pasalubong when he's from work.
• He wears perfume. I miss his scent.
• Daddy plays tennis well. Every morning, he used to play tennis with his friends in the court in front of the house in Marist.
• He loves singing. When he sings and KTVs, he'd carry me and we'd dance to the tune of Delilah, My Way, or Green, Green Grass of Home.

Mahirap Magmahal

Mahirap magmahal ng MATALINO. Kailangan palagi kang may nakahandang dahilan para maintindihan ka nya. Dapat may dahilan kung bakit mo sya mahal, kung bakit ka humihingi ng tawad, o kung bakit ka ganyan.

Pero mahirap din magmahal ng TANGA. Kasi kahit gaano mo ipilit na ipaintindi at isaksak sa kokote nya ang mga bagay-bagay, siguradong hindi ka rin nya maiintindihan kasi nga, tanga eh.

Mahirap magmahal ng INSENSITIVE. Kahit iparamdam mo na handa kang ibuwis ang lahat para sa kanya, hindi rin nya mapapansin. Pangalawa, hindi nya alam na sobrang nasasaktan ka na dahil sa mga ginagawa nya.

Pero mahirap din magmahal ng SENSITIVE. Kaunting kibot mo lang eh magiinarte na. Kahit walang dapat ikabahala, sobrang hysterical na. Kahit na simpleng mga bagay lang, pinapalaki pa ang problema.

Mahirap magmahal ng TAHIMIK. Hindi mo malalaman kung ano ang gusto nyang mangyari. Hindi sya magsasabi kung ano ang tunay na nararamdaman nya. Higit sa lahat, hindi mo maririnig galing sa kanya kung gaano na sya nasasaktan.

Pero mahirap din magmahal ng MADALDAL. Maririnig mo lahat-lahat sa kanya, maski mga bagay na hindi na dapat marinig ay sinasabi pa rin nya. Hindi maiiwasang masabihan ka ng mga masasakit na salita na makakapagbaba sa self-esteem mo.

Mahirap magmahal ng SELOSO. Nakakasakal yun dahil hindi ka malaya gumalaw at makisalamuha sa ibang tao, lalo na kasama ang mga kaibigan mo. Kaunting closeness lang eh pagseselosan na kaagad at bibigyan ng malisya.

Pero mahirap din magmahal ng HINDI SELOSO. Kapag nagmahal ka ng hindi seloso, hindi nya alam yung pakiramdam ng pagseselos kaya napakadali lang sa kanayng sabihin sa iyong, “wag ka na magselos.” Hindi mo rin mararamdaman yung kilig kapag alam mong nagseselos sya.

Mahirap magmahal ng MAPRIDE. Kahit na alam na nyang mali sya, hirap na hirap pa rin mag-apologize. Mahirap para sa kanya ang magpakumbaba at kung magpapakumbaba man, isusumbat at isusumbat pa rin sa iyo.

Mahirap din magmahal ng WALANG PRIDE. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero kapag sobrang mapagkumbaba siya, malaman sa alamang, aabusuhin mo yung kabaitan nya.

Mahirap magmahal ng FLIRT kasi hindi mo masisiguradong ikaw lang yung finiflirt nya. Malay mo, pati ibang tao nageenjoy sa kanya, dba?

Pero mahirap din magmahal ng HINDI FLIRT. Wala sigurong thrill yung ganun. Pero at least, alam mong hindi nanglalandi ng ibang tao, dba?

Mahirap magmahal ng MALIBOG. Bukod sa nakakailang, nakakafrustrate malaman na sa ibang tao nya nisatisfy ang tawag ng laman dahil hindi mo maibigay sa kanya yung gusto nya.

Pero mahirap din magmahal ng HINDI MALIBOG. Aba, nakakatigang daw yung ganun eh. Wahahaha! Tama ba ang iniisip ko?

Mahirap magmahal ng BATA. Para kang may inaalagaang anak. Dito na rin papasok ang mga salitang “childish” at “immature” dahil nga isip bata yung kinakasama mo. Maiinis ka lang palagi dahil hindi magtutugma yung mga gusto nyo sa buhay.

Pero mahirap din magmahal ng MATANDA. Bukod sa mahirap sabayan ang trip, masyado ring malalim kung mag-isip. Makaluma at old fashioned pa kaya lalong mahirap pakisamahan.

Mahirap magmahal ng MAHILIG UMAASA. Mahirap kasi imeet ang expectations ng ganung tao. Marami syang inaasahang mga bagay na mahirap ibigay at gawin. Kadalasan, nakakapressure ibigay ang mga demands at expectations nya.

Pero mahirap din magmahal ng MAHILIG MAGPAASA. Hindi mo kasi alam kung ano ang dapat isipin. Yung mga inaakala mong ipinapakita nya, hindi pala dapat bigyan ng ibang kahulugan dahil hindi naman pala kayo pareho ng iniisip. Mabibigo ka lang din.

Alam ko marami pang pwedeng idagdag sa mga nabanggit ko pero iisa lang naman ang tinutumbok ng lahat ng iyan, na talagang mahirap nga talaga ang magmahal.

Pero ang pinakamahirap sa lahat ay ang katotohanang isang yakap at halik lang ay handa ka na ulit na tanggapin lahat ng paghihirap para sa minamahal mo.

PAMBIHIRA dba? Pero ganun lang talaga ang pagmamahal, kailangan mo munang masaktan bago sumaya. At sa bawat ngiti at tawa, meron ding mga luha at paghihirap.

Nasa tao lang naman yan eh. Dahil na rin sa mga personal na naranasan ko, naniniwala na akong love is not purely about destiny. It is also about the choices we make. Sabi nga sa quote na pinadala sa akin ni shaine dati:

“Scientists found out that romantic love involves chemical changes in the brain that last 12-18 months. After that, you and your partner are on your own. Love can absolutely last for a lifetime as desired to be maintained. MEANING, IT’S BOTH YOUR CHOICE.”

BOTTOM LINE:
It will last if you know how to commit.